The Truth About Being Superwoman: Balancing Work, Marriage, and Business


So, let's take a break from sewing and talk about life. Have you ever looked at someone's life and thought, "They have it all together?" They work full time, meal prep, work out, have consistent social media posts, always look flawless, and run a business!

Let me clue you in...it's a scam! Yea, I said it.

See, I tried to be "that" person and quickly realized that there is no such thing as a perfect life. Somewhere behind that perfectly edited selfie are unwashed dishes and clothes that still need to be folded.

...Welcome to real life.

Aside from folks asking me to sew them something, the next question that I often get is, "When do you have time?" The short answer is that I make time, but that won't help someone who's trying to do the same, now will it? Truth is, I've created a routine that works for me. It's a routine that accounts for the fact that I'm a wife, caretaker of our home, I work full time, and I have responsibilities within my church, family, and community.

So, what is my routine? I'm glad you asked.

Before I even jump into the specifics of my schedule, allow me to set the stage. Once upon a time, when I thought being superwoman was a real thing, I believed that everything about my life had to be perfect. The house had to be spotless, I had to have read my Bible and taken notes as though I was in seminary, I had to have a "war room" type prayer and be slain in the spirit every morning, I had to have worked out, my meals had to be prepped, I had to write or schedule a blog post, let's not forget my then fiance who deserved my undivided attention and time, and I had to have 8 hours of sleep...ALL IN ONE DAY!

I remember going down a laundry list of things that had to be done and crying to my now husband about it. I cracked at the thought of eventually adding children to the equation. His response was, "Who says you have to do it alone or at all?" That's when I had the eureka moment. First, I got a good man! Second, that chick is a scam! Superwoman doesn't exist and for good reason! I was going to drive myself into an emotional wreck if I continued trying to have this perfect life and live up to this mythical character. The Proverbs 31 women even had maidens. I became realistic.

Reality is, there wasn't enough hours in the day to do all of the things that I deemed necessary to get done. And, to be honest, if there were more hours, I'd spend them sleeping. So the question became: What is necessary and what isn't? Essentially, I prioritized. It became obvious that much of my "to-do list" was a lot of "nice to haves." It would be nice to have a blog post scheduled, but it certainly wasn't necessary. It would be nice to have a spotless house, but I wouldn't die if there was a dish in the sink. When I began to look at things from that perspective, life became much easier. Don't get me wrong, I love a clean house, but I won't trade my sanity for it.

So, I finally had my priorities together, but here I go deciding that I want to sew a garment a week. I always have to be busy, so it really isn't a surprise that I added yet another thing on my plate. This meant that I had to realign my priorities and ultimately, my schedule

Schedule = sanity.

My schedule accounts for the major portions of my day-- morning, lunch, after work, and before/after dinner. Though much of my schedule, or routine, doesn't have to be written down anymore, anything out of the norm has to be added to my calendar. At work, my day is dictated by what's on my calendar, including my lunch. I once heard our CEO say that managing your calendar is the foremost important thing in being effective. Ultimately, it's essential to being intentional and purposeful with your time. I've said many times that time is your most valuable asset. Make sure you're spending it on things that matter.

Here's my routine:

Morning
Get ready for work; Scripture/Prayer
Breakfast / Prepare lunch

Lunch
Workout
Errands (occasionally)
Write blogs (occasionally)

After work
Relax - Sew, read, write, and/or watch YouTube videos
*Workout - If I didn't work out at lunch
Prepare dinner

Before Dinner/Dinner
Catch up with my husband

After Dinner
Clean up
Get ready for bed

Weekends (Flexible time)
Grocery shopping
Traveling
Church
Sewing
Clean Up
Blog
Do absolutely nothing all day

You may notice that TV isn't on here. Outside of my husband and I watching movies, late night show re-runs, sports, or an episode or two of some of our shows during dinner, I do not watch TV. Watching TV is one of the most time consuming things that you can do that won't yield a good return. So, when you're thinking about how to make time for hobbies or business, you may want to consider scaling down on television or reserving it for a specific day/time. With DVR, it's possible.

For the most part, I stick to this routine religiously. There may be times that I'll prepare my clothes or lunch the night before to free up my morning and maybe sleep in. There are also times that I sew up until dinner just to get a project done. Regardless, I have a solid framework in which I operate and very seldom deviate from.

Please note that in the midst of that routine are many unwashed dishes, clothes that need folding, shelves that need dusting, and a bathroom mirror in dire need of Windex. BUT I have my sanity, and healthy relationship with my husband, and time for hobbies that I enjoy. So, don't beat yourself up because you aren't superwoman. That chick don't exist. There's a reason that she's a figurative image. Just create a schedule that works for YOU.

You may be a mom, single parent, or single person reading this thinking you have more responsibilities or that you don't have someone to help. I completely get it. Still, find a routine that works for YOU and, more importantly, learn to make time for yourself. My routine may not work for you, but at least let it be a lesson that you can and should make time for the things that enhance your life.

Until next time!

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2 comments:

  1. This is good! Great advice or talk for someone facing these challenges in their life. You said you had a eureka moment when you realized that keeping a perfect schedule was not necessary. How liberating and eye opening was that! I had that same moment once upon a time and life has been great ever since! Once in while you have to be reminded but for the most part enjoy life and do the things that make you happy. Back in the day there was a song called "I'm Not Your Super Woman" that was my calling card when I was feeling unappreciated for all the things I did or thought I had to do. Thanks I really enjoyed this, brought back memories of when I wanted to be super woman.

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    1. Thank you. I think we all go in thinking that we have to have the perfect house, always look perfect, and do everything that we see on TV, but it's not realistic. I'm just glad I learned it sooner or later.

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