Why I Waited: A Call for Sexual Purity

Photo Cred: Southern Jewel Photography

Several years ago I wrote a blog entitled "So What If I'm a Virgin." At the time, I was 24 and found it to be one of the hardest things that I'd ever publicized about my life. In a society that glorifies sexual promiscuity and fornication, I had the audacity to go against the grain and wait until I was married. In the blog, I shared practical things that I did on the journey to guard myself from falling. As you may imagine, I received an overwhelming response from young women (and men) sharing their desire to begin or continue walking in sexual purity. I discovered that so many people want to wait until marriage, but feel pressured to follow the trends of society. Furthermore, they haven't seen an example of it being done, leaving them to believe that it's impossible. Well, it's possible. My husband and I both waited until our wedding night. Here's why...

Beyond the fear of unplanned pregnancies and added dynamics to our relationship, we first wanted to honor God and live out His commands. We certainly cannot earn God's grace, favor, or salvation by "living right," but if we love Him then we will express it by obeying His commands. We are instructed by God, through the Apostle Paul, to flee from sexual immorality and fornication in 1 Corinthians 6:18 and 1 Thessalonians 4:3.

  • "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV)
  • "God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin." - 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (NLT)
Those instructions alone are enough to at least have the desire to honor God with your body. Yes, there are temptations and "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak," but abstaining from fornication begins with the desire to honor God because you love Him. Jesus said, "if you love me, you will keep my commandments." I encourage you to follow Christ's command and show your love for Him by obeying His word. Allow your body to be holy and acceptable unto Him.

We didn't want soul ties to someone we weren't married to. I've blogged about soul ties before and have also included a section about it in my book. In short, it is a spiritual connection, or cleaving of souls, that takes place during sexual intercourse. In a gist, soul ties represent marriage, or oneness, in the spiritual realm. We find this in 1 Corinthians 6:16 and Genesis 34:2-3. 
  • "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, 'The two will become one flesh.'"- 1 Corinthians 6:16 (NIV) 
  • “And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her. And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob…” - Genesis 34: 2-3 (KJV)
We should not take spiritual matters lightly, because it is our responsibility to guard our spirit. We talk about putting on the full armor and guarding against the enemy's "big" schemes, but we can't neglect those daily decisions that allow him to infiltrate our lives. Unhealthy souls ties is one of those silent assaults, binding you to someone (people) likely not tied with your destiny. Being connected to dead weight is an easy way to slow or hinder your progression in Christ. So willingly tying our souls to someone outside of the sanctity of marriage was not an option. Only marriage (not engagement) solidified our commitment to each other's destiny for life.

Lastly, sex comes with responsibilities and risks. Forget the carefree, no strings attached sex scenes that you've seen on TV or in the movies. In the real world, casual sex comes with risks. Regardless of whether it's within a committed relationship or a one night stand, there are strings attached. Are they clean? Will I get pregnant? Does he/she love me or is it just for my body? Will he call back? Will they tell anyone? With these questions and more clouding your brain, carefree is hardly an accurate description. Sex within marriage is truly carefree. Your only concern is pleasing each other. And if you just happen to get pregnant unplanned, oh well! Though it may not be in your timing, it's certainly with someone who you want to have a child by. Don't take on unnecessary responsibility and risks when you don't have to!

There's a season for everything. When we prematurely engage in things before their season, what was intended to be a blessing becomes a burden. Sex is one of those things. Don't turn a blessing into a burden by not waiting to its proper season. God honors you when you honor Him with your body and your life.

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